Swimming In The Sea


Kramer: Hey.
Jerry: I thought you weren’t coming back till Monday.
Kramer: Well, the camp ended a few days early.
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Uh, well there was an incident.
Jerry: What happened?
Kramer: I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Yeah, I punched him and they took him to the hospital and then they canceled the rest of the week.
Elaine: You punched who in the mouth?
Kramer: Mickey Mantle.
Jerry: What happened?
Kramer: Well, you know, we were playing a game and, you know, I was pitching, and I was really throwing some smoke. And Joe Pepitone, he was up, and man that guy, you know, he was crowding the plate.
Jerry: Wow! Joe Pepitone!
Kramer: Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate. So I throw one, you know, inside, you know, a little chin music, put him right on his pants. Cause I gotta intimidate when I’m on the mound. Well the next pitch, he’s right back in the same place. So, I had to plunk him.
Jerry: You plunked him.
Kramer: Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound. Next thing, both benches are cleared, you know? A brouhaha breaks out between the guys in the camp, you know, and the old Yankee players, and as I’m trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my teammates, you know, somebody pulls me from behind, you know, and I turned around and I popped him. I looked down,and woah man, it’s Mickey. I punched his lights out.
Jerry: Wow, this is incredible!
Elaine (to Kramer): Yeah, so?
Kramer: Then Hank Bauer, you know, he’s screaming, “Mickey! Mickey! What have
you done with Mickey? You killed Mickey!”
Elaine: So what’d you do?
Kramer: Well, I got the hell out of there.

(via The Visa)

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    I own the inside of that plate. So I throw one, you know, inside, you know, a little chin music, put him right on his...
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    If you don’t find this hilarious i don’t find us to be friends
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